15 Park Avenue

Few days ago I was watching Aparna Sen’s latest movie, 15 Park Avenue. The movie is about a delusional girl who gets these hallucinations that she is married and has five kids. In the movie, the doctor who was attending to her said something really though provoking to this girl’s sister when she asked the doctor how real her delusions are. The doctor said that her delusions are as real to her as this world seems real to us. The doctor asked her this question that what if, what she sees as a candle is seen as a flower vase by everyone around the room, would she still say that it is a candle.

What if I think my eyes are black, but everybody around me thinks they are blue? Would I say that everybody else is having delusions about the color of my eyes or would I say that since everybody else is seeing them as blue, I must be deluded? If you conclude that it is you who is having delusions, it would merely be an intellectual understanding, but, would you actually start believing that your eyes are blue? No, you see them as black and that is the reality for you.

Swami Nithyananda Paramhansa says the world that we see is nothing but our own creation projected by our own mind. If that is so, then aren’t all of us deluding? Then can the delusions of the girl in the movie be called as surreal? Her family appears as real to her as the world we perceive does to us.

So, the question really is if all of us are deluding then who has the authority to decide whose world is real?

Why should we strive to be unique?

The other day I was trying to buy a wedding dress for my self and somehow all the dresses I saw seemed very commonplace to me. I was looking for something more unique. After spending a good deal of time conversing with my family, talking to my sister and brother-in-law and visiting various websites for designs, I got to thinking why am I looking to buy something unique.

Why do we have this urge in us to try to be unique? Why do we want to stand out in the crowd? Why do we want unique clothes, an exclusive car and an extraordinary house? Is it because of the feel-good factor when people tell us that our dress is different our car is different and admire it? If that is case then why are we so dependent on others to make us feel good about ourselves? Or, is it because we just want to feel good about our own uniqueness? If that is the case then we should understand that all of us are already unique in thousand different ways.

If we try to analyze this from the spiritual view point we will find out that it is exact opposite of what we should be doing! The whole idea of self-realization I thought was to loose our self, loose our ego and the loose our notion of "I". On the other hand, we are increasing our attachment to "I" by trying to stand out. Is it not? Now the question is, whether we should care about it only if we are on spiritual path or should we in any case try to find a moment or two and look deep inside us and find out what is it that we are really trying to achieve by trying to be unique in any possible way?

Finally, the question is why are we so afraid of being another Tom, Dick or Harry?